强烈推荐电影"500 days of Summer". 我在电影中找到了自己,我想你也可以.

  看的时候,心里其实很难受.真的,电影的他就好像是自己;电影里的她也想自己.其实我们都一样,不知道自己真正要什么...其实那个人从来没有出现过,知道碰到了现在的他!

  等到那个人出现了,什么怀疑都没有了.才明白以前的泪水是注定要流的!

  有时间的时候,建议大家看看"500 days of summer"!

  Hehe, going to Paris for Christmas this year-hope it will snow on Christmas day!

  今天突然找到了2005年写的人生计划，拿出来和大家分享一下。估计27岁之前结婚是不可能了，现在的男朋友也不是大学教授，也不是基督徒。4年过去了，大部分的东西还是没有变的。

 

未来十年的计划：

  27岁以前结婚，30岁有第一个小宝宝。要嫁给一个基督徒，最好是学化学或者是数学的博士（大学教授）。去夏威仪度蜜月，去法国巴黎度过结婚一周年。理想的职业是大学教授，像lynn一样的老师。要住在旧金山附近或者是BOSTON，要有一个小木屋和一部吉普车。可以经常去CAMPING 和HIKING，和家人，朋友一起。

  有信仰，每个礼拜去教堂；有爱好，多读书；有一颗感恩的心，永远感谢上帝。

50岁的时候去读艺术史或者是心理学的学位，还有学习弹钢琴。在家的附近开一家面包店，买自己烤的面包。。。

  这一辈子要蹦一次极，徒步旅行一次，要战胜自己一次。

 

理想的伴侣：

  美食家：一直觉得喜欢美味食物的男生，比较开朗和开心。而且自己绝对是个喜欢美食的谗猫。

  比我大3岁以上，虽然年龄不代表成熟，但成熟绝对需要时间。所以Mr。Right 一定要比我大。

  大学教授：最好是学数学或者是化学的。一直都喜欢数学的哥哥，觉得他们聪明，逻辑思维强。至于学化学的，会比较有共同语言，偶刚好懂一点。

  喜欢运动：任何运动，足球，篮球，网球，游泳。。。还有户外运动。是可以带“动”我的人。

  喜欢旅行：没有比两个人一起去一个神秘地方旅行更浪漫的事了！

  直率坦白：如果什么都放在心里，偶一定会被闷死的。爱是分享，爱是分担，爱需要表达。。。

 基督徒：他一定要是个虔诚的基督徒。

  EXTRA CREDITS：如果他长得箱NICK CARTER 或者 MICHEAL OWEN，那就更完美了。

 

  今天听了蔡依林的“妥协”，突然觉得整首歌唱的都是一年前的自己。。。那时候的自己真的好傻啊！受了那么多的伤，终于找到了属于自己的幸福了！

 

  In Beijing now. Really like here...

  There is nothing better than being in love with a sweet heart... 

  In Adelaide now. Fergie and her boyfriend are super nice.

  Sydney is cool but Adelaide is cozy. I feel at home now. 

  Stay out of touch and enjoy my time-off.

  The truth is always there. We just have to look...

  I start to appreciate " holding the truth to your heart". So I need to be away to find the truth to my heart.

 

  Yeah, going to Australia tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  记得一女友曾问过她老公“他的抱负是什么？”他老公很意外的回答到“我要做个平凡人，工作不要太忙，这样我就有时间陪你了。”女友很感动，所以他们结婚了。他们找到了平凡人的幸福。

  记忆中我也问过这样的问题，问的是我当时的男朋友。我得到了相似的回答，可是我没有选择“平凡人的幸福”。那年我21岁，很年轻，很有抱负。。。

   年初的时候抽了个签。 读之“久旱逢甘露”，意之“2009年凡事都可以心想事成”，100%的上上签。虽然我不迷信，但是还是美了一把。也祝大家2009年心想事成！

  当我抱怨工作太多，老板说：工作忙代表不会被裁员；

  当我说想要离开新加坡，老板说：我很需要你留在新加坡，我会给你好的机会；

  当我说我失恋了，老板说：等你真正明白想要什么的时候，就一定可以找到那个人。不要太早结婚。

  当我买了个名牌包包，老板又会说：要节约，存钱以备不时之需。如果有钱，可以投资房产-这样才可以安度晚年。

 

  大家说，我该不该听他的话呢？不过真的，最近工作真的很多。。。

  注释：我老板-一个48岁的美国人，哈佛肯尼迪学院毕业。离过一次婚，现在和泰国老婆住在曼谷，有一个3岁的女儿和一个下个礼拜就要出生的宝宝。

  我留给2008年的东西：

  1）7kg的肥膘：从来没有刻意减肥，从美国回来后就一直没有什么胃口，体重直线下降，牛仔裤小了2个尺码。今天一称，居然比一年前瘦了7公斤。为伊消得人憔悴，乃2008之一大幸事。现在终于可以穿上25号的牛仔裤了。

  2）我的kbr工作：2008转行成功，一直都不是很喜欢做engineer。终于在2008年我告别了P&ID，做了一个电力市场的associate.很感谢西周，没有他的帮忙，完全没有背景的我也不可能跳到剑桥能源。真的很喜欢在剑桥的工作：让我从一个只看到仪器的engineer变成了能看到整个能源市场的研究员；从一个入门级engineer变成了直接和CEO级别打交道的consultant，从新加坡也到了东南亚。

  3）我的感情：认识三年，交往了1年半的男友提出了”暂时分开“。那一刻的我居然只说了“好吧，那就这样吧。”我失恋了，可是我比以前快乐了很多。我终于又做回了自己，而不是那个很努力去做男友心中“完美情人”的傻女人。后来才明白，原来崇拜和爱情是很不一样的东西，爱情是不可以掺假的。

  我的2008是很特别的，痛并快乐着。。。希望2009年会更好！

  My new year resolution:

  1. To be in the office on time every day. I would rather die than to wake up early, but I need a change in 2009. My biggest weakness is no longer killing me now.

 

  Come on! Just do it!

 

  

   At Changsha...it is so cold here. I prefer Shenzhen much better.

   Today is Christmas Eve and for some reason, I heard about his name again. It was a long time ago (more than 6 years) and suddenly I thought of him-hardly remember anything but still miss him.

   My Christmas wish: I hope he can get over the past and be a happy man. If we can ever see each other again, hope we can be strangers.

  今天是马来的新年，新加坡的公共假期-于是一大帮的姐姐妹妹们便计划去medan玩。为了省钱，我们坐船到BATAM岛，然后再坐印尼国内的航线去medan.

  可是，航空公司临时取消了飞机，而且其他的飞机全都满了。晕大家于是决定在BATAM好好玩。

  1) The most crazy thing I have done in Batam-bathing by the sea:

   I am a SPA lover. Whenever I go, I will take every opportunities to enjoy myself in a SPA, melting all my worries, all my stress and all my tiredness in that going-to-paradise message. This time in Batam is no exception.

  I stayed in a KTM resrot. It is not a fancy resort but has a very nice SPA. They have 6 villas by the sea and while you are enjoy the service, you can enjoy the sea-view as well as the sound of the sea-wave. It is like a open-space villa.

  What I have done here? I took a bubble bath just by the sea while I could still see some small boats passing by. It is so cool. My body was all covered in the bubble and I felt I am so close to nature. Sorry forgot to take a picture and I will leave the imagination to you.

 

  2) The most interesting thing I have done in Batam-drinking in a bar in Turi beach

  Turi is a small beach in Batam and has a very tiny bar in the middle of sea, connected by a long bridge to the shore. 7 of us were there and all are girls. The tiny bar had only one bar-tender-a young indonesian guy. We ordered a few drinks and he showed us all the bottles that in the bar. It must be so fun for the indonesian guy to chat with 7 chinese young ladies. He offered us free drinks and free chips. We kept him very busy during our one-hour stay in the bar.

  I always like to have interactions with locals whenever I go. I believe it is one of the best part in my trip. You cannot understand a culture without understaning its people.

 

  3) What's more?-the seafood is really cheap and nice in batam.

  1 kg chili crab, 1 kg steam prawn, steam fish, scallop, tofu and vege for 8 ppls. Guess how much it cost? Less than 90 SGD. It is really nice and cheap.

 

  4) what is the challenge?-going out with 6 other girls.

   If one thing needs 10 mins to be done, 7 ppl will need at least 30 mins to finish. And for 7 girls, it might take more than one hour. But that's the beauty of being a lady. Take it slow and think about it over and over again.

 

After all, I had a great time in Batam with my other 6 girl friends. I have always enjoyed the different perspectives of life.

This was written 2 months ago and I removed it from blog after 1 week I wrote it. When I looked back, I believe everything happens for a reason:

 

最近心情很差，今天坐在TAXI里面差点没有哭出来。也不知道是不是快特殊了，荷尔蒙的问题-最近很不爽。
下午去了海边滑冰，晚上和老师，同学吃饭，喝酒，聊天。其实真的是心里难过，不敢一个人在家呆着。像我这样要面子的人，在外面永远是嘻嘻哈哈的-有时候停下来，就会难过。所以最近的社交生活总是排得满满的-回家马上就睡觉，不要有空去思考。
老板休假去了，工作不会有那么多的压力。下个拜五也去美国了，好久没有见的朋友也终于可以见到了。ROMI特地放假陪我，真是感动。5年了，我们5年没有见面了。上次她都来了旧金山，可惜我没有能够在那里。TIM也是3年没有见了，真是挺期待再见面的。还有EMILY，LI，都是好久没有见到的朋友。
最近也很少去教会，很害怕去面对自己的心-明明是伤痕累累，却要欺骗自己"我很好"。我不好，我很早以前就知道了。可以我没有勇气去面对，只好逃避。我骗自己，骗得好辛苦。觉得自己就像个双面人，性格分裂。。。
这次我没有人可以说，因为我不知道该怎么说。。。我的口才还算不错，挺适合做销售的。很多时候我可以说服别人，可是却说服不了自己。我有999个理由证明我很快乐-好工作，好日子，好朋友和好机会，可是我就是不快乐。心已经开始咆哮了-表达被忽略的愤怒，被欺骗的无辜。真的骗自己太久，太久，几乎要忘记了，几乎完全习惯了-是麻木了？还是放弃了？可幸的是，生活太美丽，太多感动-我的心拒绝妥协，放弃对幸福和快乐的追求。我一次次被提醒我的梦想和一阵阵的心痛-没有谁的错，只有太多的无奈。。。
其实长大的我学会了一样东西-放手"let it go"!

  终于一切都结束了，1年半后我又回到了原点。我们的纪念日-11月29日，纪念我们对彼此的诚实。

  一定要幸福哦！

  I was very sad yesterday suddenly, for no reasons. Then I called Kumar as usual. Whenever I feel that I am going to have a emotional collapse, I will call him, being washed by his words and felt refreshed.

 

  Who is Kumar? He is my ex-boss in my previous company-my friend, my mentor and my father. He hired me two and half years ago. The luckiest thing ever happened to me in Singapore is that I made a good relationship with Kumar. I am his daughter's age and his daughter is in US. So he treated me like one of his daughters. He is a wise man-knowing the truth of many things in life and having experience all the struggles that I am experiencing now. We always talk and fight over our points-until somebody wins.

 

  He is leaving this Dec and going to retire in India. So sad! I wish he could stay even though Singapore might not be a good place:-). Anyway, I wish all the best in his retirement days and for all the teachings that I have had during these years, he is definely one of the most important persons in my life. Just hope my dad won't get jealous:-).

 

  If things have to end, let me happily celebrate what I have had and be grateful for being able to have.

  What if tomorrow never come? What if I never wake up the next morning? What if we never see each other again?

 

  He told me to wait, to fall asleep and to spend the winter alone. What if winter never end and I never wake up again? Maybe the most beautiful death is to fall into sleep and never wake up...Then I will never feel the pain to lose yourself.

 

 What a long and lonely winter...like the financial market!